idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize