Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
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She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
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Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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