she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
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Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
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I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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