The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
