I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize