i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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