I could have mohawked her pubes.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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