I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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