it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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