Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize