We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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