No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
