hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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