hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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