Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
