Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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