About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
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Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
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