then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize