call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
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She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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