Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Come see our sink grown plant.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
