Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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