im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
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Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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