who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I understand Curling. That high.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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