also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
