Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
