That's intense
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
