whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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