Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize