Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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