HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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