i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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