Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
