just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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