i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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