If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
