Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
