How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
birth control should be required to get into college
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
