youre lurking in front of me
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
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No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
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My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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