Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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