Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
