They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.