Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.