After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dating After Heartbreak
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!