listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize