So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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