i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
