And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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