just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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