did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
