My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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