so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
