im drinking this country out of the recession.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
